Disgraced former Nortel boss Frank Dunn indicates the distance you should be holding your cellphone from your head to avoid guava-sized tumours.
So I’m looking at my Sympatico.MSN.ca homepage this morning, — Sympatico is a
’strategic alliance’ (as they call it) between mega-super-communications superpower BCE (Bell Canada Enterpises) and mega-super-computer superpower MSN (The Microsoft Network), both huge players in the mobile information market, — and I’m reading that all my fears over my cellphone giving me a brain tumour the size of a small guava melon have been completely unfounded and blown out of fruit salad proportions. According to the story on Sympatico’s website, the new study published in the British Medical Journal should “reassure all cellphone addicts out there“.
Researchers from the University of Leeds, Nottingham, Manchester and The Institute of Cancer Research in London have concluded that the use of cellphones is not associated with an increased risk of gliomas (brain tumours) on any short to medium-term basis. …But wait, — hold the phone!! (Preferably away from your head.) – Maybe all these brainiacs should be conference-calling with the brainiacs from the University of Finland (home of ‘Ericsson The Talkative’) and discuss some of their findings.
Their study, led by Anna Lahkola of the Radiation and Nuclear Safety Authority in Finland, conducted in five North European countries and involving a number of reserarchers and universities found a significantly increased risk of developing brain tumours with just ‘regular use’ of a cellphone , - even a modern one, – with something on the order of 40 to 270 percent on the side of the head preferred most for using the phone!!!
Just what’s up docs? - Tumour, or not tumour? All this back and forth is giving me a splitting headache. …At least, I think it’s a headache. …Could be a tumour. …No, it’s not a tumour!
- Steve Steinbach
Get the word out on your cellphone that cellphones may or may not cause cancer.
Filed under: cellphones, gadgets, humor, humour, musings, opinion, perspective, tumor, tumour | Tagged: tumor humor, tumour humour, science, cellphones, mobiles, BCE, Bell Canada Enterprises, Sympatico, MSN, Microsoft Network, mobile phones, handies, wireless, handheld devices, cancer risk, brain tumours, Frank Dunn, cell phone
